


Introductions

by bittenqueen



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-13
Updated: 2013-11-13
Packaged: 2018-01-01 09:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1043015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittenqueen/pseuds/bittenqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of being turned into a vengeance demon again, Anya joins Angel investigations. Jasmine never happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Introductions

Title: **Introductions**  
Author: bittenqueen  
Rating: PG-13  
Feedback: spikesbittenqueen@gmail.com  
Summary: Instead of being turned into a vengeance demon again, Anya joins Angel investigations. Jasmine never happened.  
\--  
Giles and Anya strolled into the Hyperion. Giles looked rather anxious to leave and Anya was talking his ear off.

"And then I said, 'well, lady, if you get scorned, you make a wish and I grant it. You should probably be more specific about your wishes because "I wish that he was dead" is pretty much open to interpretation' and she-"

"Angel! This is Anya. Good day." Giles rushed out of the grand doors of the lobby. Anya pouted.

"But I didn't get to the part about his penis shrivelling up and falling off and then being reanimated..." she complained. Her frown was replaced by a wide smile when she saw the members of Team Angel looking at her expectantly. Angel approached her.

"Anya. I'm Angel." He held out his hand. She smiled at him.

"I know. You're a vampire, you used to date Buffy. Once, you came to spy on her without telling her on Thanksgiving and then Xander blabbed and she was very upset. But the stuffing was great! Too bad we were attacked by Indians..." An awkward silence fell upon the room.

Fred pitched in, "So what are you doin' up here in LA?"

"Well, Xander left me at the altar and I tried to get my vengeance demon friend, Hallie, to turn his penis into a chicken drumstick but she refused, cause, you know, ex-vengeance demon and all. So I try and get Spike to make the wish for me, but then we get drunk and have sex on a table. It turns out these three evil nerds put cameras everywhere to spy on Buffy, and Willow found them and hacked into the signal thingy, so Xander and Willow and Buffy saw me having sex with Spike, then he thought he could rough up Spike a little since Spike is neutered like a puppy now. But then we found out Buffy was sleeping with Spike and then Xander said he wanted to still date me, just not marry me, and I didn't want to see him but I wanted him to think I was so over him and not sulking like he was so I decided to do the Scooby thing here!" she beamed while Angel's eye began to twitch at this new information.

"Buffy... sex... Spike?" Anya and the others ignored him and they stood up to greet Anya and introduce themselves.

"Well, I know the hair is different and all..." Cordelia started, instantly wishing that her hair was longer. Why had she cut it again? "But it's-" she was cut off by a very forceful hug and stumbled backwards.

"I remember you, Cordelia. After Xander cheated on you shamelessly with the lesbian witch-"

 _What witch? I don't remember any witch who's a lesbian..._ Wesley wondered. _The only witch from Sunnydale I know is Willow._

"-I was sent by D'Hoffryn to grant you a wish, since, you know, not to brag but scorned women are my thing, and you wished that Buffy had never come to Sunnydale, which sent everyone into this really funny alternate Sunnydale that was overrun with vamps, and Xander and Willow were vampires and they killed you, and they locked everyone up in this cage and started draining them all using really clever machinery! But then Giles from that reality smashed my pendant and I was human. And being vulnerable to mortal wounds is a real drag."

"Okay then..." Cordy dropped her smile.

"I'm Fred Burkle." Fred greeted Anya in her Texan accent and her wide-as-hell smile.

"The Fred from the Hell dimension? Oh, please tell me all about your time in a hell dimension. I once sent a man who cheated on his girlfriend with five men at once to a hell dimension. Me and D'Hoffryn would watch him check spreadsheets while his entrails where gnawed at by zombie pigeons. Hilarious." Fred's genuine smile morphed into a fake one.

"Anya." Wesley was still polishing his weapon.

"Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, ex-watcher who helped Xander blow up a giant mayor demon! Good to see you. You're taller and you have muscles now instead of round, nerdy glasses!"

"Good to see you too." Wesley went on polishing his sword.

"And you," she pointed at Gunn, who had just come into the lobby. "You're the only black one here, so you're the tough guy named after a weapon that kills people but not demons or vampires. Very ironic for one who fights the species who can't be killed with it."

"Yeah, I guess." he paused, then swung his axe in the air triumphantly. "Demons kill people, I kill them."

"Even... even vengeance demons?"

"Even vengeance demons, if you know... I ever know what a vengeance demon is."

"Well, uh, I'm extremely human, but if you run into a vengeance demon, Halfrek-" she stopped and tilted her head slightly, as if reminiscing. "Tell her I want a postcard when she goes to Brazil in May. Oh, and give her my name and new number, remind her to ask for Anya, not Anyanka..." She stopped again, everyone was staring at her. "What?"

After a couple more words were exchanged, Anya ordered Angel to carry her bags up to her new room.

_Wow, he even broods while carrying heavy objects._

"Are you sure we should let someone formerly evil on our team?" Cordelia asked Wesley as she poured their bad coffee into two cups.

"Why not? A vampire who has the highest killing rate of all time was the one who founded us." he took a sip of his coffee as Anya bounded down the stairs.

"I think Angel's gay!" she exclaimed cheerily as she came to the last step.

Wesley spat his coffee out all over the floor.


End file.
